Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize