Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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