not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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