Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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