Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Randomize
