Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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