So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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