I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
