before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think my moral compass just broke
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
