I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
