I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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