We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
