I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
try to milk me bitch
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