I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
