Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
