Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling

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(410): View more from Maryland

the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.

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(734): View more from Michigan

similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.

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(352): View more from Florida

Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.

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(678): View more from Georgia

As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.

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(239): View more from Florida

I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...

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(845): View more from New York

Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person

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(503): View more from Oregon

You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask

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(571): View more from Virginia

This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.

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