I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
