Banned from zoo.
Again?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
