Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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