Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
