life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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