careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
