So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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