im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
