you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I intend to get homeless drunk
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
