How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
