so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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