A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
