He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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