Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
