You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
