My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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