Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
