dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
