The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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