i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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