you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
