I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
