I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
