So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
