sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My pussy is not your playground.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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