i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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