So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
this will be a night to untag.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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