Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
