Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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