When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
