the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
