I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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