I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize