Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
