i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i will never coherently bang her
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
