he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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