Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
