covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize