Fuck appropriateness.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
