I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
