Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
