Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
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