1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
