I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
