Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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