it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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